OK, maybe not epic. But still, pretty awful. This is one of those races where I should have stayed home, and in fact knew I should have stayed home, but ran anyway. This is the downside to running for a team. You feel compelled to try and score points even if you're not feeling great. Even though I did finish the race, I probably would have been less depressed after if I had simply stepped out during the race. My mile splits are a pretty accurate reflection of my mental state during the race.
Mile 1: Feels a little fast. I knew I would do this, even though I just wanted to cruise it without worrying about time, here I am trying to race. This is ridiculous, I've been running 30-40 mpw for the past month, I'm not ready to race a 10k....5:13
Mile 2: OK, trying to run 5:20s now, just hold this, should be good. Feel like quitting already, but just hang in there through 4 miles and you can hold it to the end...5:34, fuck.
Mile 3: Feeling really bad now, should probably just quit. I had a good season up till now, no point in getting a bad time. Still...have to score for the team...OK just try to go sub 34, hold 5:27 to the end...5:34, fuck.
Mile 4: Found a group of guys to maybe hang with, I'm definitely not working the hardest here, maybe that's good....OK, no wait, they're pulling away. Funny. I know I can hang with them but I just don't care. I'm going to hate myself after this...5:41
Mile 5: This race is over, I should have dropped out before I started, but now it's too late. I don't know how to walk back to the finish from here, might as well follow everyone else...5:45
Mile 6: Finally almost done. I can't wait to get back to Berkeley and take a nap. I'm so done here...5:38
The end, 34:31.
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